chasing the libidinal & the awakening of your inner goddess
Age is just a number, and mine just so happens to be 160BPM.
Yes, despite being in my ‘fabulous forties’, I am still a regular attendee of the EDM rave. When I was in my early twenties, it was a twice a week event, but it toned done by the time I was headed towards my thirties and the early years of raising children took over. However, the lure of the fluorescent and strobe light is just too great, and last night I went to my first EDM event for 2026.
While I’ve mellowed a lot into Ecstatic Dance (see my post here about the healing modality of embodied dancing) a proper dance ‘rave’ has a completely different energy. Whether it’s the crowd - who are primarily there for the embodied dancing, or the actual vibrations of the heavy beats, I always feel recharged and electric for a full day afterwards. The pulsations, the vibrations ... they enter the body deeply, sinking into your bones and soaking your soul. I'm alive, magnetic, embodied. What I have come to appreciate - especially now that I’m in my forties - is that following your desire is absolutely necessary for empowered living. These events are not just a seismic release of bodily tension and spiritual stagnation: they are self-reclamation.
In an age where cheap thrills and expensive fillers is marketed as the ultimate luxe, I would argue that chasing the libidinal - those things that enhance tantric sensations, feeling, sexuality, embodiment - is not only life affirming - it's the ultimate act of self love. Because when you step into that version of you that isn't in ‘mother energy’, looking after everyone else, or in ‘daughter energy’, feeling bitter from a life un-lived because there are just too many other controlling boss types swamping your schedule, you naturally walk into your woman energy. Saying yes to doing what lights up your insides is saying yes to presence, to the unravelling of your innate ecstatic energy that resides deep in your womb. And energy which is wild and expansive of Shakti, the divine creatrix. Shakti is symbolically represented through dance. She and Shiva make love through dance. By tuning into our own bodies through the amplification of the senses is a reminder that your woman energy, your divine feminine self is there, alive in your body.
Our bodies are sense organs. Chasing the libidinal isn’t about being more sexual for anyone else. It’s about coming home to your own aliveness, your own innate capacity to feel, experience, receive. This is all about receptivity, and if you’re willing, this (and not the candy or otherwise) is what makes the rave scene intoxicating.
Woman, get out of your head!
As women, we’re often taught to manage, suppress, or intellectualise our energy. To be palatable, composed, contained. But your body was never meant to be a container. It was meant to be experienced and enjoyed. This is precisely what Tantric Yin teaches us: that our bodies are our temples, nothing less. If you want to go to Heaven or Paradise or Illysium, go within. (If you haven’t read ‘The Vessel’ from my book of poems Rising In Love, this speaks directly to this idea.)
What we need to not only relearn but actively practice is the philosophy that pleasure is not indulgent or wrong or somehow wanton or shameful. Release is not something that you need to do through sublimation, like shopping or shallow experiences that lead to shame. Desire is not something that you need to earn on a random ‘date night’. What we need to relearn and practise is listening to our own bodies and how it communicates to us through the action of dance or movement. Do what feels good, not what looks good. Feel deeply within, let the exterior world fade. This is how you reclaim your inner world and your body as a sense organ.
Divine Feminine Energy in action is a thing of wonder, delight, and destruction. Watch your former self explode as you step into your divine feminine self. There's no going back. And it is activated through the libidinal - this raw tantric energy that yokes mind, body and spirit. Your DFE is ruthless creativity, firece passionate heat, transcendent emotion and sensation. When you ignore it, things stagnate. When you follow it, things move and free up. Allow your body to release and once more receive.
We don’t need permission to feel more. We don’t need a reason to soften, to open, to take up space inside our own bodies, but for most of our human history, women have been programmed that we do. So my challenge to you is to actively do something that reminds you that you are not just a mind carrying a body - you are a body that knows how to come alive.
What makes you feel alive in this moment is an act of self-reclamation, of a divine feminine wisdom that will allow your world to expand sideways, to widen and amplify with love, energy and abundance.
deliciously slow, magnetic ways to chase your libidinal
Have you seen Charli XCX’s Wink Wink? She’s the pin up girl for a bit of Kindle smut. If you’re so inclined, solacious reading has always been something women have gravitated towards, hence the popularity of Mills And Boon. As a student and teacher of Literature, there is an adage that textual pleasure is indeed sneakily linked to sexual pleasure. They’re both about evoking the imagination and the senses, no?
Obviously somatic movement is a winner in my book. Try Yin Yoga, Somatic Dance, Belly Dancing or just practice some gentle movement at home for yourself, moving your hips and letting your body express itself however it best desires.
Ah, rest. Rest is our way to prepare the body to receive - to actually have the capacity to feel pleasure. Set aside some intentional time for rest and renewal and be prepared to receive!
I’m a big advocate of dressing not to impress (definitely not into trends!), but dressing to make yourself feel beautiful. I’m a big fan of tulle skirts, ruffles, soft, organic flowy clothing and fine silks. Clothing is sensual as it sits on and against your skin. Investment in an outfit that sparks your desire.
You’ll notice that I make and occasionally stock beautiful bath bombs. You’ll also see that I have the recipe to make your own here. Bathing, moisturising, perfume and oils are all simple but effective in feeling loved. You’re replenishing the body and ripening it for pleasure. Likewise, beautiful lingerie is easily something women have historically associated with romance and pleasure. Why not wear some? Remember, it can be for solely worn by you for you and not necessarily anybody else.
Cooking something that entices your senses. Think fresh herbs, quality organic ingredients, foods that are decadent or crispy or just so very delicious. Allow your tongue, which is one of your biggest sense organs, to come alive.
Paint something that simply reflects your inner self, something that evokes feeling and sensation over outward external appreciation. Choose your medium - maybe you prefer pastels? maybe watercolours? and let your imagination run riot.
Through journalling. I love to keep a Bullet Journal (you can read about the virtues of journalling here) because I get to create handmade paper and play with lots of different colours and textures and almost junk journal bits and pieces of ephemera. Nothing brings me greater delight than passing through the pages of my bullet journal! One of the ways you can chase the libidinal in your journalling is to journal your desires. You might like to use sentence starters such as:
I am drawn to ….
I am curious about …
I find beautiful …
I secretly long for …
My body wants …
If I didn't have to be sensible, I would …
Something that makes me feel alive is …
The kind of life I secretly desiring to create is …
Through really intuiting into the body. How does it want to move? How is it wanting to express itself? Through heavy weight lifting? Through a simple walk without any headphones, simply noticing the sights and sounds around you? Move like a woman who loves her body.
Ah, tea. So simple, and yet, a doorway through to the libidinal. Brew a pot of your favourite delicate herbal tea, and then take your time to simply notice the taste, the aroma, the steam gently rising into the air. Make your tea ritual a sacred ceremony to arouse the senses.
Visit a place which excites your senses and brings you back to life. Last weekend I took my grandmother to Melbourne’s best cafe for breakfast and chai lattes (if you’re ever in town, Old Man Drew is a must visit!). Now, my grandmother is the Queen of Sensory Delight, and she was absolutely smitten with this venue’s incredible vintage garden and Tea Rooms. Keep your inner delight alive and well and your womanly energy will thank you for it endlessly.
And lastly, why don’t you create your very own vision board filled with all things that are designed to arouse the libidinal and awaken Shakti in you. Place it in a prominent place in your room and let your eyes meet it regularly to prompt you. This is all about practice, so make it part of your daily practice.
An example of the delight brought to me in my Bullet Journalling practice - texture, colour, inks, layers, washi tapes, etc etc. It’s all just so pretty and highly addictive!